Mustache + Costume Party = P in V

Equation by: The Muse
Post by: Contributor # 1

It takes some balls to grow a mustache when you’re not a Dad or Tom Selleck. But, the mustache ALWAYS thrives at the costume party (regardless of theme) and when you put the two together it’s another combination that = P in V.

The Burt Reynolds Mustache

The Burt Reynolds Mustache

The Geraldo Rivera

The Geraldo Rivera

The Village People Biker Mustache

The Village People Biker Mustache

The Oatmeal / Wilford Brimley Mustache

The Oatmeal / Wilford Brimley Mustache

Parties where the mustache flourishes:

White Trash Party

Any Decade Themed Party including: 70’s, 80’s, or 90’s

Hipster Party

Euro Trash Party

The party may dictate your choice of mustache: for the white trash party you might want a big and bushy piece of man fluff cowering over your upper lip. For a Euro Trash or 80’s party, a pencil thin (I’m most likely a creepy rapist) mustache is most appropriate. For the 70’s, break out that Porn-stache and wear a T-shirt that says, “Free Mustache Rides”

Free Mustache Rides, Take a Ticket

Free Mustache Rides, Take a Ticket

The ladies will be digging that you went all out with your commitment to the costume, and they don’t need to know that you grew it cause you thought it was cool. Mustaches aren’t Cool. They’re either manly or creepy. So, by the transitive creep property, if you don’t have enough hair on your chest to make a sweater for starving kids in Mongolia, then don’t grow a mustache.

Some great costume parties that come around New York Yearly are:
Look for the Roller Disco Night at Studio B this Summer in June.
The New York City Idiotarod at the End of January, always a great time to have a mustache.
New Years Eve New Lost City in Brooklyn
Halloween Night Parade on 6th Ave.
Next Weekend is Hairy the Musikahl on Ave C.

So start growing out that stache, remember that at the very least there is no official medical fear of it (unlike beards: pogonophobia,), and hit up some costume parties to get some quality mustache ride P in V.

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